Lunch Of A Lonely Girl

"Hey guys, wait up!" I said in a voice louder than my usual whisper.
Sam turns around and looks at me,
Turns back to the group,
And they keep walking.
"I just need to tie my shoe," I said a teensy bit louder than before.
My mum had just bought me a new pair of black converse sneakers, I loved them but the laces were made too long and I kept stepping on them, successfully untying my shoe about 3 times a day.
I look up and I see my group of friends walking away towards the multipurpose room. They're talking. And laughing.
Like I hadn't even left.
You see this happens a lot. So I guess I'm used to it. Always hoping my voice will be heard above the rest, trying to call attention to my little self.
"Wait up.." I whisper to myself as I bend over to tie my shoe.
Blood rushing to my face,
my throat is being constricted as my eyes water in self pity.
Shoe is tied. Get a drink from the water fountain.
Every group of friends has that one friend. That one girl that no body really likes all that much, but they keep her
around to hang out with in case none of the other friends are available. Am I that girl? I ponder that question quite frequently.
I'm not weird,
I'm not selfish,
I'm not a braggart,
I'm quiet.

Eat Your Fish

 A sad song by a sad Inuk at Bible Camp when she was just 12 years old. This experience was not good I tell you, if you ever send your child to a religious cult camp, make sure you at least give them chapstick.

Bible Camp

once i went to camp
once i went to a place where they made you
eat all the food off your plate
once i drowned
where did my chapstick go
please give me some more
no they said
not until you eat your food and say your prayers
not until you tell us what church you go to
not until you convert to this cult
not until you eat all your fish
i bunked with mean girls
why wont you be my friend
i thought this was a nice camp
turns out they were all brain washed
with promises of more life
when can we go they asked
not until you say your prayers
not until you get more members
not until you've lost yourself
not until you eat all your fish
theyre stuck in a vortex
theyre stuck in a vortex
theyre stuck in a vortex
im finally out

Summary of Bergers- Why Look At Animals

 I went on a walk in the mountain yesterday, and an hawk was circling about me for 20 minutes not even 4 meters above my head. I could hear the 'woosh' of its powerful wings cutting through the air, it made me feel very safe as I walked through the lonely woods.
I read the article "Why Look At Animals" by John Berger. A very fascinating and thought provoking piece I must say, once I got through it. For anyone who has been struggling to read this article, here is brief a summary I have written.

--------

         In "Why Look At Animals" by John Berger, he examines the break in the reliance of man on animal and argues that humans have risen above animals with our ability to transcend the limits of earths natural environment. He questions when were animals first seen as simply leather and a pair of horns and argues that it is though the emergence of meaning in language that first separated man from animal. When a man was able to confirm another man, and the animal remained silent, began its exclusion from the human race, and the loss of "the gaze" between human and animal.

         Previous to the recognition of the distinctness of animals, humans used them as explanations of the surrounding environment, in fact, the first symbols of language were animals. In a piece written by Aristotle, he argues that animals, like humans, express traits such as gentleness or aggression. However, Berger calls his argument invalid now that anthropomorphism is not a key part to the relation of man and animal, and also states that anthropomorphism was the last residue of the animal metaphor found in early language.

         Descartes put the final nail in the coffin of man and animal by writing that man has a body and soul, while animals only have a body. Berger says that Descartes reduced the animal to a machine, with a type of innocence not found in humans because of our spirituality. Soon after, with the industrial revolution, animals were removed from cities and processed in factories like manufactured commodities.

         Berger then goes on to describe the sad state of the modern house pet, sexually deprived, sterilized and fed artificial food, modern pets no longer serve any purpose but to resemble their masters. With very little real contact with animals, Berger argues that humans have made up for it by creating animals of the mind such as the quirky Daffy Duck, realistic stuffed animals, and picture books with anthropomorphic characters resembling animals. Pictures taken of animals shows our index of power and how far separated we have become from what was once done organically without artificial creations from man, From that, Berger argues that the life of a wild animal becomes an idea and the starting point of a day dream. Children are surrounded with animal imagery which explains their disappointment at the zoo when the lethargic and dull rhino turns its back. Berger says the animal in the cage with the theater prop decorations no longer has anything to occupy a central place in its attention. The human species has finally isolated itself from animals, resorting to sad zoos and silly cartoons for our dose of nature.

-Inuk

--------

Want to read something?

Here's something I wrote 2 weeks ago when I was being all angtsy and moody. Oh yeah, don't forget about the works cited list right down there. Its there. I promise I'm not stealing quotes.

---------

“In the beginning, God created the heavens and the earth,” is the famous intro to one of the most popular and highly influential books known to mankind, the Bible. With over 6 billion copies in existence and over 1,300 translations, it’s no wonder the creative passages within this book have been taught to kids over hundreds of generations. Growing up in a very religious home, and going to a religious Christian school, I was exposed to the stories within the bible repeatedly and was taught to believe that they were true stories that once had occurred thousands of years ago, much as my fellow five year olds were taught that Santa lived in the North Pole, and the Tooth Fairy would collect their teeth in exchange for a dollar. I was taught if I did not say my prayers or sing songs to God that I would end up in a fiery pit within the depths of the earth, condemned to burn for eternity along with murderers, wives out of the kitchen, and men who liked men. The bible had a powerful influence on my ideas of heteronormativity along with my view on the roles of men and women in 21^st century society, which has led to years of anguish and confusion.

Heteronormativity is defined as the “cultural bias in favor of opposite-sex relationships of a sexual nature, and against same-sex relationships of a sexual nature” (Head) and is prevalent in many stories including the bible, fairy tales, and almost all children’s movies. There are many passages in the bible condemning homosexuality, for example, Leviticus 20:13 from The Bible in basic English by Hooke says “If a man lies with a male as those who lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination and they shall surely be put to death.” This passage makes it clear as day that homosexuality is not tolerated, is wrong, and will send one straight to hell. Growing up during a time when gay rights propaganda and LGBT movements were everywhere, I was presented with two conflicting views of homosexuality. However, the first view I was presented with, being that homosexuality is wrong, was the one I chose to believe in simply because everything I was exposed to dealt with exclusively heterosexual relationships- Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Not only were the stories I read in the bible about heterosexual relationships, but the TV shows and movies I saw, such as Berenstein Bears, Little Bear and several carefully selected Disney classics such as Cinderella and Beauty and the Beast also very heterosexual. As such, I developed a black and white mindset; boys had cooties and tried to kiss, while girls were the ones I played heterosexual Barbie with. This mindset lasted until I was 14 when one of my good friends came out as bisexual which resulted in a serious evaluation of my ideologies and a consideration of where I had gotten such a negative view. My conclusion is participating in the Nativity play in elementary school as Mary put the now upturned roots of heteronomativity in my head.  

A similar subject of much debate and confliction to heteronormativity is masculinity and femininity. The difference between the two is made very clear in almost all narratives I have read, especially the stories told growing up from The Bible. From David and Goliath, to strong Samson and his long hair, I knew as a child that being a man meant having huge muscles, tons of testosterone and a beautiful wife who cooked and cleaned all under the dominating arm of man. In The Bible, women do not play a huge role in any of the stories, in fact, there are multiple passages which state that woman are to submit to their husbands, as their husbands are to submit to God. This creates inequality between men and women where men have the final say and the power to do what they will. Being taught that I was lesser than man, because I was made from the rib of Adam, had profound effects on my perception of my ability to lead, and my self-esteem. No girl likes to be taught that she is automatically unequal from the day she was born, so I took on the challenge of trying to be equal to man by dressing like a tomboy, doing pushups and sit ups to be as strong as my brothers, and getting a horrible haircut because I saw femininity as a very undesirable trait. However, a girl is only stronger than a boy for so long, and when that day rolled around, I soon realized that though I was never going to be as physically strong as a boy, being a boy does not necessarily equal physical strength. Furthermore, being a girl does not mean submissiveness and weakness, being a girl means being different yet equal to man.

Though the bible contains fun stories to read with moral lessons which are vitally important to humanity, I do believe that it could use an update to 21^st century thinking where men and women are equal, and can be with whomever they wish to be with. These days, men and women are equally heroic, where women have the same opportunities as men and are not stuck mending clothes. It would be great to see this reflected in the most popular book known to mankind so future generations do not receive conflicting views as I did and can use their mental energy to find cures for disease, instead of worrying about finding heterosexual Barbies husband.

Works Cited- Don't forget this

Head, Tom. "Heteronormativity." About.com- Civil Liberties . N.p., n.d. Web. 17 Feb. 2014. <http://civilliberty.about.com/od/gendersexuality/g/heteronormative.htm>.

Hooke, S. H.. The Bible in basic English. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press, 1982. Print.

Bienvenue!

Here I am, I figured I should start writing stuff down, instead of on my hand which is covered in faded bic pen from this weeks list of things to remember. Plus a stamp from a venue I was at. K-Lab the dj was laying down what I consider to be rather shitty tunes, but eh I burned a few calories tearin' up the dance floor. What is with all the hype surrounding some dj's who's music is not enjoyable unless belligerently drunk, on mdma/ cocaine, or deaf. Or was I? Hmm..

But anyways, heres the maiden post. Probably more to come unless I forget my email which I just created.
-Inuk